It’s been just over two months since launching the Spiritual Leader University far too soon than was reasonable for business purposes. But it was exactly on spirit’s time to coincide with the triple conjunction of something I can’t remember now, but which an astrologer friend of mine said was happening on the same day that Kathy and I intuited we should launch. We are both fans of doing things in an ease-ful fashion, but sometimes spirit yells “hurry up already!” and then, like good devotees, we jump into the fire and allow ourselves to be used for purposes higher than ourselves.
Taking Back Lusciousness
All during this launch, I’ve been working to take back the lusciousness in my life that I lost during those two weeks of 15 hour days where we were planning and scheduling and branding and targeting and where I was finally coding and writing and creating the website pieces that would take us forward. Kathy and I have individually launched many projects in the past. At this point, we intuitively know every piece that needs to go into place and when without having to create a plan for it. But plans make life easier – even if they are rough sketches. And we didn’t have time to make them and so it’s been a mad dash to put it all together, put out content, and start to build the energetic of our mutual brand.
Quite Frankly, I’ve Been Exhausted.
You know how I know that? I’ve been spending many more hours in front of the TV than I should. This is my avoidance technique. You can tell how balanced I am in my life by how many hours of TV I watched that week. The fewer I watch, the happier I am.
And yet yesterday, in the middle of an energy scan session with Kathy – I started to feel better. Some of it was because she was helping me to let go of some stuff that had been holding me back. But mostly it was because we were doing what we do best – hold space for each other, help each other to grow, and allowing what was true to surface in safety. I started to relax and stop worrying about our upcoming event. I started to have fun again.
And this morning, while reading Sera Beak’s latest book Red Hot and Holy in the bathtub, I started to remember who I am – loud, vibrant, passionate. I had to get out of that bath before the water even cooled to come and talk to you about passion’s purpose in your mission – in my mission.
Passion Is What Sustains Us
I spoke with a client yesterday about start-up businesses. I was telling her that in all the start-ups that I’ve been involved with (and there have been many from a new age spiritual healing center and store to a multi-million dollar theme park), passion was the single most important factor. Because starting your own business is hard. Really hard. It’s creating something literally out of nothing. It is the ultimate creative force on the planet outside of gestating a baby. And creating a spiritual business is harder than any other kind of business because it requires that you maintain balance between that head-based creation that the business world requires and the heart-based, 2nd chakra-based creation that spirituality demands.
For the last week, I had lost that passion. But this morning, it has returned.
What called it back? Nothing. I did nothing to call the passion back. What I did was to invite myself back into the process. I had fallen into the trap of doing what was required – and I was doing it well.
- The website traffic has tripled to almost 3000 people coming to the site in the last month.
- We’re converting people onto the mailing list at a rate of over 10% (that’s about 5 times what most people see).
- Our bounce rate is falling (meaning people are reading more than one page more often) as we are coming out with more content that speaks to this market – rather than just the stuff that was already on my blog.
And yet, registrations aren’t where we were hoping they would be at this point in time. And the business Kelle says “of course that’s true, you didn’t give yourself enough time – you knew that going in” but spiritual Kelle was saying “but you promised…” And then I lean into spirit and they say “They’re coming. Keep going.” And a few more registrations show up and a few more people respond to my emails. And we move along. But then all of my past failures pop up from my marriage that failed after 7 years of beating a dead horse to the real estate training business that went from flourishing to flopping in just over a year because the market crashed. Not my fault, but somehow it still lived in failure land in my internal landscape.
And so this is what Kathy helped me clear yesterday. The weight of all of this second-guessing and self abuse. She helped me to accept those shifts in circumstance and not label them as failures but as learning points. Points that have brought me here, to this place. And as I forgave myself and took myself off the whipping post, I could relax and remember why I am here.
I’m here because I love you.
All of you. I love the work you do in the world. I love who you are and who you are working so hard to become. I love the fears and flaws and challenges that you bring to the table. I love the vulnerability you share with me and the way you let me hold you when you can’t hold yourself for the moment. I love the “oh shit” moments when you realize you’ve been self- sabotaging and the “a-ha” moments when you suddenly see that new paradigm. I even love the spaces in between when you struggle with trying to wrap your brain and your being around a not-yet-formed identity of yourself. I love the way you push yourself to dig deeper, try harder, be more. I respect the crap out of that. And I love that you never give up – no matter how hard it gets. Your faith and your determination drives you through.
You Are My Heart – My Passion
My passion springs forth from this respect and this love. It comes from a place of wanting to play with you and shout in joy like two children playing in the school yard as we make grand schemes and play with the wild things in the world. It comes from wanting to hold you and love you like a mother when you trip and skin your knee – to tell you everything will be OK and that this is just a temporary setback. It comes from the excitement of creating something new with you and midwifing you as you birth it into the world. It comes from the day you look at me and say “thanks for everything, I’ll take it from here” and I wave good-bye and remind you to write me every now and again to let me know how you’re doing.
Just Like You, I’ve Worked Really Hard On Myself
And I’m still working. Every day brings a new experience, a new learning, a new revelation. Every day I give myself permission to be more, do more, have more. I am big and getting bigger and my life will be measured not just in the things I have personally accomplished, but in the ways I have supported others with big missions and big lives. But for me, it isn’t even about that anymore. It’s about unveiling myself. It’s about allowing myself to show up unfettered, unapologetic, limitless. And that is where the real discovery begins for me. As it does for you.
The Journey Begins Today
Want to come play with me?